When Giving Isn’t

18 December 2012

Well here we are again … the end of another year and the festive season is upon us – a time of peace and joy and giving …

Or is it?

Giving is a choice … a choice to freely give means to let go and expect nothing in return … and that is the sticking point because so much giving really isn’t. At this time of year giving has become synonymous with giving stuff and along with it goes the stress and frustration of shopping and spending money and battling crowds of people all hell bent on giving stuff too. And not just giving stuff but giving more stuff we really don’t need or want to those who really don’t need or want it either!

As Christmas looms, I have found myself confronting some old beliefs about giving including the polarising adage “it’s better to give than to receive”, which in the paradigm of cause, is utterly ridiculous because it is not possible to give without receiving … two sides of the same coin! I have become acutely aware that sometimes I make choices to “give” when really I am not! As soon as I realise I expect something in return, I am confronted by the truth that my “giving” is really a trade-off, a tit-for-tat reaction that has nothing to do with giving. I usually end up feeling disappointed, resentful and/or angry because the choice I am actually making is not about giving … it’s about being attached to a particular outcome as a result of my “giving”. And it never works.

So this Yuletide I am making a different choice: To give me, not just stuff or things, but me, the whole and the all in every interaction, in every situation. To give freely the love that I am without expectation of anything particular in return. I know that something will be returned and my choice is to detach from any expectation of form and instead to receive with ease and grace whatever shows up.

Nothing like a challenge to kick-start 2013!

Love Lorna

You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

Kahlil Gibran

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