What happens when fear is the dominant and pervasive context?

Well, all you have to do to get this is look at what is occurring in the world today.

From politics to social justice, from health to education … when fear is the filter that informs how we live, we get to live in fear.

Fear contracts, constricts, shuts down and stifles who we are and this is showing up more and more in my local community and on the world stage.

Right now in Australia, we are embroiled in a very nasty fear fuelled debate about same-sex marriage. Both sides of the debate have valid reasons for their position yet both sides are hell-bent on proving that their side is right and the other is wrong. The downright lies and misinformation being spouted are staggering. No surprise really when fear is the context.

The more people I talk to the more I see that we are showing signs of fear fatigue … and this is where we can BE the change we want to see.

Change always starts with self … who am I BEING in relationship to the pervasive fear-filled paradigm? Am I agreeing with it or am I choosing to respond to my own fearful thinking and feeling from love? Am I willing to take a stand for LOVE even though fear as a context is so insidious?

As always, it’s up to me and always I get to choose the context I operate from.

And I choose LOVE.

I have an insidious habit of expecting you to know what I mean … even though I don’t always say exactly what I mean.

From the old paradigm of fear – I want to blame you for just not getting it. Even when I say the same thing over and over again … you still don’t get it … and I end up frustrated and more convinced than ever that you are the one to blame.

I do this because I think you should know what I mean. I am after all a communication expert and I pride myself on being rigorous and clear … so what’s going on when you don’t get what I mean?

Well … it’s not you … it’s me!

In the paradigm of cause, I know that whatever occurs I have created it. When I get a response from you that I perceive as you not understanding me it’s because I have not provided you with my clear CONTEXT. I haven’t told you the purpose of my communication or what I expect you to understand from my communication so of course you just make up what you think I mean and react accordingly.

And if I stay anchored in the old paradigm and continue to blame you for just not getting it, I get to feel righteous, you get to feel wrong and the whole communication goes nowhere either of us wants to be.

So I choose to remember that if I want you to get what I mean I need to tell you what I mean before I tell you what I want to tell you. It also helps if I take a moment to check-in with you to make sure you get what I mean before I keep blahing all the content at you.

This takes awareness and rigour because when feelings and emotions are in the mix, it’s easy to forget my own golden rule: CONTEXT before CONTENT.

And when I remember to follow my own rule, you have a better chance of understanding me and vice versa.

Get it?

Who you are is Love.

Love is the energy of creation so it follows that you are the energy of creation … And you are the created and the creation too.

Now this might sound confusing or difficult or too hard or whatever …

It’s not.

It’s very simple … and that’s one of the reasons you have so much trouble processing this or accepting it … because it IS simple.

Simply this: You create the whole of your own reality. You are the one who gets to choose how to express the energy of love that you are. You are the one who gets to decide what you will focus on, believe in and thus manifest as your reality.

And the kicker is … you are not 100% conscious of creating the whole of your own reality. You just get to experience the whole once it’s been chosen … by you.

When you accept and appreciate that the whole of your own reality is your choice, your creation, then you can respond to the whole of your reality and the whole of you with love.

The more you allow yourself to BE LOVE, the more you will DO loving actions and behaviours and thus you will experience that you are indeed, the energy of creation … LOVE.

Before I open my mouth to speak (which I do a lot), I know my energy has already positioned me in your mind and our relationship has already begun based on this energetic exchange.

When I am mindful of being who I am and allow the energy of love to inform and lead the way in my conversation or interaction with you, I experience more of what I am giving -love.

And when I forget and am deep in my fearful “not good enough stuff”, I get back exactly what I have given – fear.

Seems so simple … just choose to BE loving and that’s that.

Except it is not … because although I choose consciously to be loving, my automatic habit is to shut down when I feel vulnerable or uncomfortable. And even though I often physically stay, the energy of love that I am simply shuts down and I withdraw.

My most recent example of this was a lunch and shopping day with some girlfriends. I went because I didn’t want to miss out even though I was feeling quite tired and disconnected and didn’t feel like shopping. While we ate our lunch, I was aware I was not fully engaged and yet “hoped” I was doing enough to engage and be sociable. After lunch, I did a bit of shopping but quickly realised I didn’t feel like being there anymore … so I chose to go to a cafe and have a cup of tea and asked the girls to collect me when they all finished their shopping so we could go home together.

The next day, one of them asked me what was going on with me … and wanted to know if they had done something and if I was withdrawing from the group …

That was a slap upside the head for me … I realised that in my energy funk, I had not communicated anything that was going on for me, yet my energetic shut down was felt by all of them and in the absence of clear communication from me, they made up what they thought it meant, again out of fear. I assured them I was not leaving the group and just had a lot of stuff going on that I was processing and feeling and not ready to share. I was gently admonished to just say so next time and thus avoid the drama!

So once again, I am confronted by my own messy human process and rather than make myself wrong, I truly see it as a powerful opportunity to remember I am love and that’s the energy I want to speak and be heard.

I have been feeling energetically smashed these past few weeks … lots going on with my work but that’s not the reason. Nor because of the ruthless and rigorous space clearing I am doing at home and in my office. All of this has impact on my energy levels … yet I am aware that this energy saturation is not just about that.

Today I had a session with my meditation/spiritual coach and mentor, Dorje. And very quickly I became aware that for the past 6 months, I have not been practicing what I know works to clear my energy filters.

Usually, I schedule a break mid-year for the purpose of reflection and letting go and restoring my energy. Not this year though.

Not because I don’t appreciate the need for such a break but rather because my insidious ego-mind has been at work reminding me that I have taken on a big commitment with this new brand and everything it entails; that I still have lots to “do “and besides, I am not that busy or tired that I really “need” a break. And thus far I have agreed with my ego-mind!

What I was reminded of in my session is that because of what I do, I am an energy filter for lots of people. (And other people are an energy filter for me too). This doesn’t just apply to me, it applies to you too because you are energy and you are always engaged in an energetic exchange with the world, regardless of what you do.

I learned a long time ago not to take on your stuff yet there is still an energetic impact doing what I do. And the way I can best serve myself and you is to regularly clear my energy filters with regular meditation, regular breaks to sit and BE and time out at least every 6 months where I don’t have to see anyone or talk to anyone or do anything. Swimming in salt water also helps.

When I don’t engage in my energy clearing practice … I end up feeling like I have been feeling for the past few weeks: tired and short-tempered; fuzzy brained; lack of motivation and creativity which ends up in me procrastinating and then getting into my own head about how “I should be doing x, y and z” even though I don’t feel like it. And on it goes …

The irony is this blog is one of the things I have been putting off because I had no idea what I really wanted to say and no energy for it anyway. Then in my meditation today, I realised what I want to share with you is this conversation, which could not have happened sooner because I didn’t have the awareness until my session with Dorje today. Neat.

My choice from now is to fully embrace my energy clearing process including taking a 5-day break to spend some quiet time away from my usual environment. So I have blocked out some time in early September and now just need to find a quiet place to go and BE … ahhhh I can feel my energy shifting already.