Inside Out

Inside Out

As I approach the end of another calendar year, I find myself reflecting on the year that has been and marvelling at the complexity and the simplicity both locally and globally.

There can be no doubt that this year brought a multitude of fascinating, frustrating and illuminating mirrors in the form of various world leaders and local friends and foes.

When I found myself awash in the sheer lunacy of what I was seeing and experiencing, the only relief I sought was to go within and ask myself one key question: “What would love do now?” Because any other location or any other question was not going to deliver what I sought … peace.

And that, my friends, is what I am taking away with me for my annual holiday with family. That the only true path to peace is within. There is no sustainable peace or joy or happiness on offer when I am attached to and hell bent on making my external reality meet my expectations. After many years of relentlessly going down that rabbit hole, I have discovered that if I truly want inner peace then I must go within and choose to BE at peace.

There is nothing I can control or make happen in my external world. No amount of persuasion will make someone feel what I want them to feel or do what I want them to do or be how I want them to be. And yet the divine dichotomy in the paradigm of cause is that I have created all of it and yet I control none of it.

When I remember I create the whole of my own reality with love and wisdom – always – I can relax and let go and allow myself to appreciate the complexity and the simplicity of the whole and trust that there is purpose in all of it. Then I get to choose how I want to BE in relationship to whatever is occurring and thus transform not just my internal state but also my experience of my external reality including how I experience you.

Just need to remember … I get to choose.

Love Lorna

The Change Room – Episode 11: Season One Wrap

The Change Room – Episode 11: Season One Wrap

Join me and the fabulous Suzy Jacobs on The Change Room Podcast.

Today we celebrate and wrap up Season 1 of The Change Room by highlighting some of our favourite conversations (and boopers!).

We’ll be back in a few weeks with Season 2 but in the meantime make sure to say in touch with us in our Facebook Group.

During this episode we recap Episode 1-9:

  • The four levels of filters that affect our communication.
  • Filters give meaning to your everything. If you don’t like what you’re experiencing change your filter and make a different choice.
  • Difference between feelings and fact and these things affect our stories.
  • E-motion = Energy-in-motion.
  • Our feelings are created in our head before we feel them and are affected by our filters.
  • Why your action list isn’t the stumbling block for moving your business forward
  • Why setting up the context first is so important when communicating.
  • The cost of ‘living in a not good enough’ state of mind and how it impacts our ability to live authentically.
  • Why you need to tell the truth to yourself first and then the others around you.
  • Who I am is not what I do. The value of who I am is that I’m me.
  • Defining responsibility as ‘response ability’ – the ability to respond. It actually means: I get to choose. I have a choice.
  • Why we need to focus on living the ‘Be Do Have’ model rather than ‘Have Do Be’
  • The question you need to ask yourself when things aren’t turning out as expected

The Change Room Podcast

with Suzy Jacobs

The Change Room – Episode 10: The Whole Whole Model

The Change Room – Episode 10: The Whole Whole Model

Join me and the fabulous Suzy Jacobs on The Change Room Podcast. Today in The Change Room we distill one of the most powerful models to be used within the macro model of I Create the Whole of my Own Reality. It’s the Whole Whole model.

In this episode Suzy Jacobs and Lorna Patten explore:

  • How the whole of me, creates the whole of my own reality.
  • Only 10% of what you create is conscious.
  • By taking responsibility you increase your consciousness.
  • How do I take responsibility for what shows up when it wasn’t what was planned.
  • What is the benefit of creating Z when I was creating X.
  • There is always a reason Z shows up.
  • There is nothing to be gained from being annoyed and pissed off by Z showing up.
  • The importance of not getting stuck in the elephant hunt of asking ‘why’ things happen, instead focus on asking HOW did this happen and what purpose does it serve.
  • It’s not about the quantity of knowledge, it is about practice and awareness.
  • Use this model for anything you want to change especially when you are not getting what you wanted. Notice the feelings and thoughts around this, and accept that whatever occurred you caused it.
  • Take the steps and see what shifts. Continue to practice this over and over again.

The Change Room Podcast

with Suzy Jacobs

The Change Room – Episode 6: Response Ability

The Change Room – Episode 6: Response Ability

Join me and the fabulous Suzy Jacobs on The Change Room Podcast. Today we are looking at Response Ability – that is your ability to choose how you respond to what shows up in front of you.

In this episode we’ll explore:

  • Re- establishing the power of context before we start exploring the context of response ability, or commonly known as responsibility.
  • Defining what responsibility actually is and what it’s not.
  • The impact we feel when our fear and responsibility collide.
  • How crucial it is to stop and acknowledge how we’re feeling and what our considered response is to that feeling, at that time.
  • The ‘reacting’ to something is actually ‘acting’ to something that is already over, and how this moment again gives us the ability to choose how we respond.
  • That our fears are just feelings, they’re not facts, and we have the choice of how we want to respond to fear.
  • How fear, if not responded to well can send you into a hyperdrive of doing.
  • The fact that we get to choose our context – love or fear.

The Change Room Podcast

with Suzy Jacobs

Where Do You Tolerate “Harvey” In Your Life?

Where Do You Tolerate “Harvey” In Your Life?

The Harvey Weinstein expose currently dominating world news has triggered some of my own memories of encounters with men behaving in a sexually inappropriate or downright predatory manner in relationship to me … and my own feelings of shame for attracting such attention and “letting it happen”.

My reluctance to confront what was happening came from a belief that there was no point.
Men behaving this way was tacitly accepted as the “norm” … just stuff that men did for fun or to prove themselves to other men … ”boys will be boys” and all that. Just something I had to avoid or tolerate as a woman.

So I quickly learned to avoid and when that didn’t work, to tolerate and move on. Yet what lingered was a niggling feeling that although I was not to blame, it was about me.

With the insight and power of the paradigm I Create the Whole Of My Own Reality, I can see that I was (and am) responsible. And rather than respond by speaking up, I chose to react by shutting up. I shut up because I felt to blame, I felt wrong and I felt ashamed … so I shutdown.

By not speaking up, by not calling those men to account for behaving in ways that went from not acceptable to downright illegal and immoral, I was tolerating it … and them.

And that’s what’s going on right now in our fear-filled, fear-fueled world. Everywhere I look, I see people reacting out of fear and shutting up rather than responding out of love and speaking up. And all it produces is more of the same.

So I choose to open up and show up and speak up about the things that matter to me. I choose to stop tolerating the intolerable and respond from love. As for Harvey, I send him love and hope that he finds the truth he seeks so that he too can respond to himself and everyone he has impacted with and from love.

What about you?

#MEtoo

Love Lorna

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