The Change Room – Episode 27: What do you mean by that?

The Change Room – Episode 27: What do you mean by that?

Join me and the fabulous Suzy Jacobs on The Change Room Podcast.

Being misunderstood or not understanding something can cause us frustration, but asking this one simple question can change everything: “What do you mean by that?”.

In this episode, we cover:

  • The challenges that changing communication channels bring.
  • How and why it is important to be responsible in our communication.
  • The reason why communication doesn’t work when something isn’t being said.
  • The risks of reading between the lines.
  • The use of miscommunication as a reason for not being clear enough.
  • Why being misunderstood is a myth.

#Thrival Tips for your #Thrival Kit

  • When you don’t get the response you want or expect, ask yourself what you didn’t say. Take responsibility and then communicate it.
  • Whenever you find yourself reacting to a communication, 1) ask “what did you mean by that?” or 2) feedback what you thought it meant by saying “did you mean this?” and then respond.
  • Being explicit in all your communication is a choice. It saves time, energy and makes life simple.

The Change Room Podcast

with Suzy Jacobs

The Change Room – Episode 21: Experience v. Understanding

The Change Room – Episode 21: Experience v. Understanding

Join me and the fabulous Suzy Jacobs on The Change Room Podcast.

In our final episode for Season 2, we help you to remove the biggest barrier to your transformation. It’s the fundamental difference between the people who ‘do’, and the people who ‘don’t’. It is Experience Understanding.

Suzy and I will unpack the simple fact – that we can not know something until we’ve experienced it. We’ll be sharing stories, examples and more tools for your Thrival tool kit.

In this episode we cover:

  • Examples of the distinction of Understanding Experience.
  • The powerful idea that Understanding never precedes Experience.
  • How to never leave out the missing piece – feeling the feelings.
  • Choosing to experience from the context of love and choosing to tell the truth.
  • Experience always needs to come first before Understanding can happen.
  • If you want to understand another person, connect with the energy and the emotion – yours and theirs – for the full picture. Let yourself be present with the feelings that are occurring, not just the dialogue and you will understand.
  • What to expect from Season 3 of The Change Room.

#Thrival Tips for your #Thrival Kit

  • To Understand something, choose to fully Experience it and Understanding will follow.
  • To Understand someone, connect with the feelings that are happening, not just the dialogue.
  • In life, Understanding is the booby prize. Choose to fully Experience instead.

The Change Room Podcast

with Suzy Jacobs

The Key To Understanding Anyone

The Key To Understanding Anyone

When you have an experience of being misunderstood or are accused of “not understanding”, take a moment to consider that there is something missing that just might make sense of whatever is perceived as “mis-understood”.

Yet when faced with the feelings that accompany misunderstanding, you probably go straight to reacting, protecting and defending and nothing changes.

In the paradigm of cause, understanding starts with a willingness to accept that whatever is happening and however you are reacting to it, there is something else going on under the surface that, when acknowledged, changes everything.

And to know this you only have to look at your own experience of being mis-understood.

What occurs is you say or do something that produces a reaction you do not like/did not expect. Then you push back – usually with the words: “You don’t understand!” and start explaining why the other is wrong for not “getting it/you”. Of course, the blame game never creates resolution, so round and round you go, feeling mis-understood and blaming the other.

When you accept that there was something missing in your original communication which produced the reaction, you can then respond by communicating explicitly and clearly the missing bits. And if you want to know where to look it’s usually that you did not give context before the content so the other makes up what they think you meant.

You have your own very sound reasons for everything you do/say … and so does everyone else. Mis-understanding occurs when you fail to communicate the whole of what’s going on – particularly how you feel – and what you want as a response.

If you want to understand and be understood, say what you mean, ask the other what they mean and respond to the whole communication … and you will understand.

Love Lorna

I will never ask you to understand my life but I will ask you
not to judge it as you do not understand it

Eric Patten

Understanding Understanding

Understanding Understanding

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There is so much we want to understand however if you want to understand something or someone then you have to fully experience it first. Watch my video … and then you’ll understand!

Misunderstood is a Myth

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