I am still reeling over the spate of violence in my city, in my country and in the world that has been all over the news in recent weeks. The messy human me is feeling all of it acutely … shocked, scared and very, very sad.

And I know there is a huge opportunity for me and you and everyone to make a considerable difference to this dynamic, if I am willing to feel my feelings and let them go … and get present to what I know is possible when I remember WHO I AM in the matter and what’s possible when I respond from love rather than agreeing with my fear.

I have worked with a lot of people over the past 40 years who have experienced various levels of domestic violence and it’s shattering consequences.  Almost everyone I have questioned about when they first knew something was off, not ok or just plain dangerous, the response has been “… way before something violent occurred … but I thought it was just me being paranoid or me saying or doing something I shouldn’t have …”

That’s when things get really messy because when I choose to agree with my fearful ego mind, that it’s my fault rather than something I can be responsible for, I will fight hard to prove I am good enough by staying in the situation and doing whatever I can to be better, do better and make things ok.

It doesn’t work and often results in the sort of violent behaviour that ends in increased abuse, violence and ultimately, tragedy.

So what can I do differently?

First and foremost remember: I create the whole of my own reality which means I am responsible for what occurs and how I respond. When I trust what I know, (not what I think or feel, what I know)* , when I pay attention to the “niggle” that something is off, I tell someone, I ask for help and take action to take care of myself first …  from love. When I choose to love myself and trust what I know … love for myself first and foremost, I can change what happens next.

It’s not easy and if I am willing to trust when I know something is not ok, in spite of any hard evidence and in spite of my thinking mind pushing back hard. When I am willing to speak up and take action consistent with what I know rather than what I fear, I am firmly centred in the paradigm of BEING cause and therefore able to respond from love and create something different in the next moment.

And you can too.

* If you want to know more, Jenny’s book and website are the place to go!