Sounds a bit like an oxymoron!

I struggle to be at peace when the world around me is so uncertain, so tumultuous and so unpredictable. I find myself challenged by my feelings and thoughts and the relentless pace of change within me and without.

As I have said before, I am a perfectly, imperfect messy human being … just like you. And although I have a great deal of experience in the paradigm of cause, I have my blind spots, and deeply ingrained ways of thinking, feeling, and doing that often run contrary to everything I know.

When things get bumpy and I don’t know what’s going to happen, I am tempted to go down the rabbit hole … feeling scared and uncertain and frustrated and powerless. Then I start agreeing with my infernal ego mind “Just figure out how to fix this/stop this/prevent this/change this … and then you will feel ok”.

This strategy can bring some temporary relief … yet it doesn’t ever deliver the experience of inner peace I actually seek … no matter how many times I go down the rabbit hole!

Over this past year, I have become more aware of this pattern and have taken conscious steps to intervene BEFORE going down the slippery slope of agreeing with my thoughts and feelings.

I know I do not control my external reality, and I also know I do have some control over the thoughts I think, the feelings I feel, the choices I make and the actions I take.

So whenever I catch myself about to slide down the slippery slope (and it’s not every time!) … I stop and take a breath and acknowledge what I am choosing to think, what I am choosing to feel and what I am choosing to make it all mean …
then I remind myself it’s ok to think these thoughts and ok to feel these feelings and I can choose to keep doing this … or I can choose again.

So I choose peace.

I choose to remember I am ok, even when I don’t feel ok; that whatever has happened, has happened and I get to choose, right now how to respond from love.