This is an automatic and very common question when enquiring after someone’s emotional state – particularly when you see someone in obvious distress – yet from the paradigm of fear it simply cements the belief that feeling anything distressing is somehow “wrong” or that there is something “wrong” with the person feeling whatever they are feeling.
Asking someone “what’s wrong?” doesn’t allow the responder any space to consider what is actually going on from the paradigm of cause. The very question usually catapults the communication into the paradigm of fear and elicits one of two responses: Either some blurt about how awful something or someone is or “nothing”, which is actually true … even if not realised in that moment.
In the paradigm of cause, nothing is wrong and nothing is right.
There is only what’s so and any judgement about it (right/wrong; good/bad; negative/positive etc) is something you are doing, it’s meaning you are making of whatever is happening. And the most pervasive, unconscious judgement filters you have will concern feelings and emotions … hence your unconscious and automatic judgement of intense feelings rears it’s head in the form of the question: “What’s wrong?”
Time to change those filters and become conscious and aware that feelings are not wrong or bad or good or right … they are simply feelings – there to inform you how you feel so you can feel them and respond. So the next time you are tempted to ask “what’s wrong?” consider asking this instead: “What’s going on?”
When you let go of your automatic judgement filters, you can more clearly see what is really going on and you can fully respond from love.
What would happen if everything I thought was ‘wrong’ was actually ‘right’?