Standing in a River of Fear
That’s where I have been.
In fact, I have been standing up to my ankles in a river of fear on and off for the past 12 weeks and “trying” to convince myself it’s not what’s happening … my feet are not wet, when they are!
I know I am ok. I know that I am creating the whole of my own reality. I know I can trust myself and my process and … I feel anxious and scared and worried and concerned and angry and sad … all at the same time. What a cocktail of stuff to feel and heal and release.
Except I haven’t been allowing myself to really go there … until today.
This morning I had a vent (and a cry) with one of my closet friends and she reminded me that I have a choice, it’s all my stuff and I can choose to simply … stop it! She also pointed out that it would help if I put all that is occurring into perspective … here and now: I am ok. I am safe and I have the ability to choose what happens next.
It was just what I needed to hear.
Even though I don’t always like hearing my own distinctions coming back to me, I am grateful for the feedback and the support. (Thank you much, Lx)
It is my choice to feel scared, to be worried, to future project and then agree … and it happens so fast and so under the radar that at times, I forget … and down the rabbit hole I go …
When I get caught up in my own relentless internal chatter (no matter how reasonable it seems) I am guaranteed to agree that my fear is real. Even though I know it’s not.
What a conundrum.
So I am choosing to step out of the river.
To stand on the firm foundation of what I know to be so right now.
To let go of worrying about tomorrow and stay present with myself and my feelings today.
And I choose to let the river flow without getting my own feet wet.
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As always thank you for sharing and being so open, this truly resonated with me. Your wisdom and insights are forever supporting me on my journey. Love you xx
Thank you Lorna, just what i needed to hear today. I need to step out of the river, or should i say wade out because i feel i my up to my waist and one more step and i may drown.
Well said. Thank you.