The Change Room – Episode 30: It’s never done, it’s simply in process

The Change Room – Episode 30: It’s never done, it’s simply in process

Join me and the fabulous Suzy Jacobs on The Change Room Podcast.

Why are we always in process? Because we choose to be. Living and being is a process, not an outcome and it involves doing the work and overcoming obstacles but we get better at it over time.

In this episode, we discuss this distinction and cover:

  • What occurs when you choose to be in process and choose this as the foundation for life.
  • Why “I’m not good enough” is the source code that needs to be changed.
  • What drives our need to be “done”?
  • The goal of the new paradigm.
  • How to enjoy the process of creating who we’re being.

#Thrival Tips for your #Thrival Kit

  • When the “not good enough” shows up, just remember – it’s a feeling. Breathe and respond from love.
  • Accept that you’re always in process and that’s okay.
  • Be here now because there’s only one moment. That’s a gift. You can choose to be or not to be in process, and love and enjoy it.

The Change Room Podcast

with Suzy Jacobs

The Change Room – Episode 4: Not Good Enough

The Change Room – Episode 4: Not Good Enough

Join me and the fabulous Suzy Jacobs on The Change Room Podcast as we deal with the discomfort of the distinction ‘not good enough’ and how this holds us back.

Today we’re dealing with the icky discomfort of the distinction ‘not good enough’.

We look at how this distinction impacts our analytical skills and holds us back from producing the most extraordinary results in business, finances enough’ and life.

In this episode we explore:

  • The origins of ‘not good enough’
  • Why ‘I’m not good enough’ is a feeling, not a fact.
  • Why saying ‘I am good enough’ isn’t the answer
  • How “I’m not good enough” is impacting your analytical skills
  • How to clean your filters to improve your outcomes.
  • Practical examples of how ‘you’re not good enough’ stories can impact your enjoyment on life and living authentically.
  • Why it’s unadvisable to attach your self-worth to the things you do and outcomes you achieve.
  • How to identify the things you’re not doing because you think you are not good enough.

The Change Room Podcast

with Suzy Jacobs

Getting To Be Good Enough

Getting To Be Good Enough

Not going to happen … not now … not ever.

The whole “good-enough/not-good-enough” stuff is based on a lie.

And if you are not conscious of it, it runs you.

It’s insidious and deep and sticky and in my experience never really “goes away”. The “not-good-enough” story is on a permanent loop in your ego-mind and it just keeps on playing. You get to choose whether you keep agreeing with it or not. You get to choose how to respond and you get to keep choosing.

The quest for “good enough” is really just a search for a feeling of being ok. A feeling of peace and security instead of feeling “not-good-enough” and the emotions that come with it … shame, hurt, anxious, etc.  So you seek to feel “better”, usually by doing more and more in the hope you will get to be “good enough”.

Well, getting to be good enough is a myth.

Who you are is a magnificent, powerful, loveable creative being and has nothing to do with “good-enough” or “not-good-enough”. Those are both polar opposite judgements about whatever is happening. And as soon as you agree that the judgement about what’s happening is actually about you the creator, rather than about what you have created, down the rabbit hole of fear you go.

So next time the “not-good enough” stuff arises … stop … take a breath … remind yourself this is a feeling, not a fact … breathe …allow the feeling to move through you and release … and it will when you give up your “not-good enough” stuff.

Love Lorna

If your goal in life is to become all that you are
give up the “not-good-enough” stuff
and realise yourself.

Gathering Evidence

Gathering Evidence

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Whatever you believe is what you will experience as reality. Do you walk around gathering evidence to support your beliefs?

Who Wants Help?

Who Wants Help?

Whatever your response … the simple truth is … everyone wants help with something at some time. Yet your automatic reluctance to ask for help says more about your attachment to your “not good enough” story than whether you want help or not. The simple truth is that wanting help is no more or less an indictment on your okay-ness than anything else you think or feel!

Over the holidays I spent some time with a young coach just starting out in her own business. She is smart and aware and committed to her own growth, yet when she called me (for some support!) she was clearly distressed and finding it hard to admit that she wanted some help.

She explained that although she knew she needed some help, she felt not okay to ask for it because she felt she really “shouldn’t need it”. After all, she was a coach, supposed to be helping all these other people and to admit she needed help was perceived as somehow weak and not good enough.

And there you have it … again … the old “not-good-enough” story and feelings informing her decision making and resulting in her feeling even more distressed and unworthy. Her reluctance to acknowledge her truth and ask for what she wanted meant she continued to struggle with her own stuff. Then she called me …

I pointed out that in my world, asking for help and support was as necessary as breathing in and out. Not only is it okay, it’s vital to my work and my life that I ask for and receive support and guidance so that I can continue to learn and grown and develop myself for my benefit and also for the benefit of my clients. I reminded her that the paradigm of ultimate cause meant that she has created a lot of amazing people in her world who could guide and assist her in her process and on her journey. Her willingness to not only ask for help but also consciously invest in working with her own coach/mentor was crucial to her living her vision in the world. Her “not-good-enough” stuff was simply to remind her of her commitment and not a reason to agree with it and continue to struggle with “going it alone”. I also pointed out that if everyone felt the way she did and agreed with their feelings she would have no clients at all! When you work with people you need to have regular support and guidance … just like your clients have with you.

She got it and has now committed to her own ongoing process with another coach.

What about you?

Love Lorna

Asking for help does not mean that we are weak or incompetent. It usually indicates an advanced level of honesty and intelligence.

Anne Wilson Schaef

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