2010 has arrived and with it the promise of ever accelerating change. And there is no better time than right now to start some new habits … but first you have to stop some old ones:
Drop the not good enough stuff
It’s not true. It’s simply a game you made up when very small to keep you safe and it has now served its purpose. You are here, you have survived and now you have much more awareness than that wounded child so time to let it go.
When you are running the not good enough stuff, your communication is informed by the context of seeking/needing agreement/approval to feel safe and ok. No way will you reveal your deeper truth with this going on, no way you will be open and available if you are seeking approval … and without openness and honesty, communication sucks. The not good enough stuff is the single biggest communication killer around … time to get over it … really.
Not everything that comes into your head needs to come out of your mouth:
Get to the heart of your truth and find out what’s really going on. Most of the monkey chatter between your ears is simply your reactive, judgemental, critical, ego-centric voice doing its job – which is to keep you separate from who you really are. Stop agreeing with the thoughts in your head and start coming from the love in your heart. Go into the deeper parts of yourself and enquire as to what’s really going on for you … and speak that out loud.
Say what you mean and mean what you say:
Stop pussy-footing around and say what you really mean. Be explicit and clear not wishy-washy and passive/aggressive. Don’t ask a question when you really just want to make a statement or express something. If you have something to say, say it and then respond to what comes back. If you want/need help … ask for what you want … exactly. And if you are only willing to accept a “yes’ response … don’t ask. The more explicit you are, the more your communication and your relationships will flow.
Say what you mean and mean what you say…