Getting Better Is Not An Option

Getting Better Is Not An Option

Your insidious habit of judging yourself and others is the super glue that keeps you stuck in your own process and in your life. The notion that somehow, some way you can do a bunch of stuff to get better (or that someone else can) is simply nonsense … at least it’s nonsense from the point of view of the paradigm of ultimate cause: I Create The Whole of My Own Reality, with love and wisdom always.

The idea that you (and others) are not okay the way you are and that you need to get better is a value judgement pure and simple. And value judgements are absolutely subjective and no more true than anything else you make up. When you agree with your own infernal, internal judge, chattering away about how you are not good enough … yet … there is always more you can do to get better … you are destined to ride the roller coaster of “stuff-esteem” and all the emotional blah-jang that goes with it. Not to mention how exhausting it can be!

Want to get off this ride?

Start by observing the internal dialogue and start noticing how quickly you want to agree with it … then don’t! Realise that the thoughts and feelings you have about yourself and others are simply that … your thoughts and your feelings – made up out of your filters – informed by your perceptions – occurring as a result of your value judgements and that they are no more real or true than anything else you can make up. Then make up some stuff you enjoy.

Choose to perceive everything and everyone through a filter of love rather than fear … choose to experience that you are okay and so is everyone else … choose to agree with the idea that everyone is always doing the best they can and what’s needed is awareness and compassion and love; not condemnation and criticism … choose to be your own divine self in relationship to everything and everyone, including yourself!, all the time. Choose to respond from love and enjoy the ride … !

Love Lorna

If you’re not all right the way you are, it takes a lot of effort to get better. Realise you are all right the way you are and you’ll get better naturally.

Werner Erhard

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Not Good Enough

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Selfishness

Stop It!

Stop It!

2010 has arrived and with it the promise of ever accelerating change. And there is no better time than right now to start some new habits … but first you have to stop some old ones:

Drop the not good enough stuff
It’s not true. It’s simply a game you made up when very small to keep you safe and it has now served its purpose. You are here, you have survived and now you have much more awareness than that wounded child so time to let it go.

When you are running the not good enough stuff, your communication is informed by the context of seeking/needing agreement/approval to feel safe and ok. No way will you reveal your deeper truth with this going on, no way you will be open and available if you are seeking approval … and without openness and honesty, communication sucks. The not good enough stuff is the single biggest communication killer around … time to get over it … really.

Not everything that comes into your head needs to come out of your mouth:
Get to the heart of your truth and find out what’s really going on. Most of the monkey chatter between your ears is simply your reactive, judgemental, critical, ego-centric voice doing its job – which is to keep you separate from who you really are. Stop agreeing with the thoughts in your head and start coming from the love in your heart. Go into the deeper parts of yourself and enquire as to what’s really going on for you … and speak that out loud.

Say what you mean and mean what you say:
Stop pussy-footing around and say what you really mean. Be explicit and clear not wishy-washy and passive/aggressive. Don’t ask a question when you really just want to make a statement or express something. If you have something to say, say it and then respond to what comes back. If you want/need help … ask for what you want … exactly. And if you are only willing to accept a “yes’ response … don’t ask. The more explicit you are, the more your communication and your relationships will flow.

Love Lorna

Say what you mean and mean what you say…

Interstate 60

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Not Good Enough

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Truth

Don’t Be So Greedy With Your Giving!

Don’t Be So Greedy With Your Giving!

Why is it so hard to ask and receive help and support? Why do you shy away from actually letting someone else give support and help to you when you go out of your way to give to everyone? I know it feels great to give but what else is going on?

Well surprise, surprise … it’s the same bottom line … the not good enough stuff in another guise. Many people feel that it’s better to give than receive … better to offer than take … better than what? Than being seen as somehow selfish and self-absorbed …somehow not deserving because in the old paradigm world of fear, the more you can do by yourself, for yourself, the better. I mean if you have to ask for help that shows that somehow you are weak and not ok. So the cycle becomes give, give, give and take very little – particularly if you have not really “earned” it!

How well is it working? Do you ever feel that you have given enough? Do you ever feel that it is really ok to let yourself ask for help, support and/or assistance and really let it in? If you do not then I suggest you consider that always giving and not receiving – like always picking up the tab at coffee, deflecting a compliment, always being the first to offer help no matter what, denying help for yourself etc. is actually quite “greedy”. When you are always the one giving, others are denied the joy of giving to you.

When you do let yourself receive, when you are aware that giving is only half of the whole process and that receiving is just as important, you will discover that joy abides in both giving and receiving.

Love Lorna

Don’t be so greedy with your giving …

Sri Narayani Amma

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Not Good Enough

You’ll Never Get To Be Good Enough

You’ll Never Get To Be Good Enough

So you might was well stop trying.

Your pre-occupation with doing more and doing better so you’ll feel good enough is driven by the false belief that who you are is not good enough…yet. You think you’ll get to be good enough one-day-some-day-when you do and/or have whatever it is you think you need to do/have to be ok. You hope that by doing enough, doing more, doing better, one day you’ll somehow feel good enough ie: valuable, worthy, loved, supported, cared for, recognised etc. And then you’ll be ok, you’ll feel ok.

That day never comes! Feeling good enough is fleeting at best because the context you are operating from – that who you are is not good enough, not really lovable and valuable – is a lie. It’s not true and you can choose to let it go and accept a new belief anytime you choose.

The truth is that who you are is magnificent, loving, powerful and creative. That’s who you are. And what you do is simply what you do. Who you are is lovable and valuable simply because you are. Your intrinsic value has nothing to do with what you do or don’t do. What you do relates to your growth but not your value. Your value is assured because you are you. When you accept the truth about who you are, rather than continually “trying to be good enough”, you’ll “get better” naturally.

You’ll never get to be good enough because who you are is, always has been and always will be completely perfect. Now isn’t that a relief?

Love Lorna

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Not Good Enough

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