My beautiful, amazing, wonderful Mum passed away on March 29 with me, my sister and my niece at her side as she took her last breath and smiled. It was a profoundly beautiful final moment – very different to the previous 36 hours which were tough, tiring and sorrow-filled. It was moving and humbling to be present and witness her last goodbye on this earthly plane and I was so glad I was there.
Then there was a huge gap … a big space … of what I did not know.
I felt so many things … sad, happy, upset, relieved, scared, calm, lost …
The rollercoaster ride of my grief had begun and from past experience, best to let go and go with it. So I am.
It is often said that the death of the last surviving parent is a crucial transition time for the children left behind, whatever age they may be. That certainly seems to hold true for me and my siblings. This is a time where all the things Mum did for the family – like organising the family get togethers, creating the special occasions, being the birthday/anniversary/send-a-thank -you-card reminder etc. – will now be done by someone else. And life goes on.
It is a surreal time for me. One moment feeling clear and happy, the next in a pool of dripping tears (happened in the bank today ).
And through it all I am blessed to be so loved and supported. My beautiful and generous family have been awesome, my gorgeous friends have gone the extra mile for me in so many ways over these past few weeks, my amazing clients who have moved their appointments and been completely ok with how I am feeling and what I need to do for me including running from a coaching session to hop on a plane to be with Mum. Thank you one and all for your love and support. And thank you much for your flowers, cards, messages via email, text and facebook which keep pouring in. I am comforted and embraced by love.
I know Love is who we really are and when we die we return to Love.
I am so happy my beautiful Mum is now free from the pain of her physical existence, once again enjoying the freedom to BE who she is.
Goodbye Mum … I will love you always and miss you much.