The Change Room – Episode 27: What do you mean by that?

The Change Room – Episode 27: What do you mean by that?

Join me and the fabulous Suzy Jacobs on The Change Room Podcast.

Being misunderstood or not understanding something can cause us frustration, but asking this one simple question can change everything: “What do you mean by that?”.

In this episode, we cover:

  • The challenges that changing communication channels bring.
  • How and why it is important to be responsible in our communication.
  • The reason why communication doesn’t work when something isn’t being said.
  • The risks of reading between the lines.
  • The use of miscommunication as a reason for not being clear enough.
  • Why being misunderstood is a myth.

#Thrival Tips for your #Thrival Kit

  • When you don’t get the response you want or expect, ask yourself what you didn’t say. Take responsibility and then communicate it.
  • Whenever you find yourself reacting to a communication, 1) ask “what did you mean by that?” or 2) feedback what you thought it meant by saying “did you mean this?” and then respond.
  • Being explicit in all your communication is a choice. It saves time, energy and makes life simple.

The Change Room Podcast

with Suzy Jacobs

The Change Room – Episode 11: Season One Wrap

The Change Room – Episode 11: Season One Wrap

Join me and the fabulous Suzy Jacobs on The Change Room Podcast.

Today we celebrate and wrap up Season 1 of The Change Room by highlighting some of our favourite conversations (and boopers!).

We’ll be back in a few weeks with Season 2 but in the meantime make sure to say in touch with us in our Facebook Group.

During this episode we recap Episode 1-9:

  • The four levels of filters that affect our communication.
  • Filters give meaning to your everything. If you don’t like what you’re experiencing change your filter and make a different choice.
  • Difference between feelings and fact and these things affect our stories.
  • E-motion = Energy-in-motion.
  • Our feelings are created in our head before we feel them and are affected by our filters.
  • Why your action list isn’t the stumbling block for moving your business forward
  • Why setting up the context first is so important when communicating.
  • The cost of ‘living in a not good enough’ state of mind and how it impacts our ability to live authentically.
  • Why you need to tell the truth to yourself first and then the others around you.
  • Who I am is not what I do. The value of who I am is that I’m me.
  • Defining responsibility as ‘response ability’ – the ability to respond. It actually means: I get to choose. I have a choice.
  • Why we need to focus on living the ‘Be Do Have’ model rather than ‘Have Do Be’
  • The question you need to ask yourself when things aren’t turning out as expected

The Change Room Podcast

with Suzy Jacobs

Want To Know What’s Really Going On?

Want To Know What’s Really Going On?

I have been wanting to share with you, what’s going on with me.

And so I figured the best way was to simply tell you in this post … doh!

I am having the best time right now. I am doing the work I love, with clients I love, the way I love to work, when I choose to work. Yes, there’s a lot of love in my day to day living.

And this year I have created lots of new opportunities to share my work with you and the world.

Yikes! A frisson of fear just ran through me. It feels almost surreal when I sit and reflect on what’s been happening … yet I can clearly see the moments when I have opened myself to ask for and receive what I want.

It started in 1983 when I realised I am here to share this paradigm of cause with the world.

Back then I had no idea that it would look like it does today. The digital revolution has changed everything and I struggle and resist keeping up.

The other day I had a realisation … I don’t want to keep up. I don’t really want to master every digital platform or be in 24/7 communication with everyone.

What I want to do is have meaningful conversations and interactions that make a difference to me and to you.

So rather than stick to my heretofore (cool word!) schedule of blogs and posts and bumper stickers and stuff … I will write when I have something meaningful to say and can’t not share it!

As for all the stuff going on … I am working with Suzy Jacobs on her podcast project The Change Room so watch out for it in your inbox soon. I am also creating an on-line training program to support coaches who are delivering my work to their clients and I am supporting another client of mine on a global project. So it’s all happening …

And I am delighted to share the journey with you.

Love Lorna

Tell Me What You Mean

Tell Me What You Mean

Communication literally means to share – thoughts, feelings, facts, information etc. Yet it is not sufficient or effective to share only the surface stuff without being explicit and clear about what you actually mean.

Before you communicate anything, you need to look beneath the surface of the stuff you want to say to get clear about what you want the other to understand before you start communicating. There is a huge difference in the efficacy of your communication when you clearly and explicitly communicate context before blahing out all your content.

The meaning of your communication IS the response you get … which means that whatever comes back in response explicitly shows you what the other actually understood … what they actually thought you meant … which may be quite different to what you expected them to understand.

As I have said before, being “misunderstood” is a myth … what’s really going on is a failure on your part to effectively communicate what you mean before you communicate anything else.

Whenever you feel misunderstood, rather than simply reacting and ending up in the fruitless blame game of the A>B conversation, stop … take a breath and ask yourself:

“What did I want this person to understand from my communication? How is that different to what they actually understood? What didn’t I say, that once said, would have this person understand me the way I intended?”

Then communicate what you mean – openly, honestly, clearly, directly and completely and keep communicating until they get what you mean and you get they got it.

When you tell me what you mean, I have a context within which to truly understand what you mean to say rather than making up what I think you mean.

Love Lorna

Tell me what you mean before you tell me
what you want to tell me.

Be Honest

Be Honest

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What does honest communication mean? What do we leave out in our honest communication? Watch my video to see what you need to do to have honest communication.

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